Things I ate:

8:30 am: everything bagel with cream cheese

12:30 pm: leftover lasagna and Doritos

7:00 pm: waffle and hashbrowns from Waffle house (should have gone with the Allstar special)

Things I hate: Parents who pierce their babies

these people are fucking sick.  Listen here, I know you are trying to railroad your child into a life of swapping felatio for narcotics by naming her Crystal and blowing her college money in Reno,  but this shit is going to far.  Piercing an infant is trashier than that meth lab in your basement.  How would you like it if someone started poking holes in you without your consent?  For more on this check out :

http://www.babypiercing.com/ 

Really , that is the name of their website.  For extra credit see if you can find this telling quote on their site: “I do all ages”.

Manza and models

Things I ate:

8:30 am: everything bagel with cream cheese

12:30 pm: some sort of asian noodles with beef and bean sprouts. and some dorritos.

5:45 pm: 3 slices of left over pizza from Manza 

Things I hate: facebook models

We get it, you’re hot, and you have done some modeling in your time, but seriously this is retarded.  Do you think that this pic is going to suddenly launch your career and you can quit your job at Starbucks?  Have you not noticed that all of your friends have put up normal pictures of themselves?  This shit is so arrogant.  Why don't you just leave the Glamour shot on your mom’s mantle and forget it ever happened.

(Both of these pics were taken from profile pics off my friends list)

(Sorry Beth and Heather,  these pics were just to perfect for the subject not to use. anyway I doubt you read my blog and you made them your facebook pics so maybe its fair game.)

Bagels and Burns

Things I ate:

8:30 am: everything bagel with cream cheese 

12:30 pm: bowl of chili, chips and salsa

5:15 pm: big plate of left over stuffing, bowl of "everything but the.." ice cream

Things I hate:  Guys with no sideburns

No sideburn guys

Listen guys, this is not a good look!!  What on earth would make you say to your barber "you know what, lets just cut these burns all the way up."  Are you thinking your ears are so attractive that they must not be obstructed?  Are you shaving one morning and just take it to far? Whatever the reason, I implore you to stop!!  

I noticed during my extensive sideburn research that the "noburn" may have evolved from the mullet.  Take these 2 pictures of Jose Conseco.  On the left, Conseco (mid 90s) is sporting the classic mullet sans burns.  On the right you can see that Conseco has updated his style by dropping the mullet but for some reason has retained an alarming lack of burn.  I have also noticed that there is an alarming correlation between the no-burn and sports figures, as evident by the pictures I found.

do roids kill burns?

Finally I would like to present this pic of Matt Damon to show that you don't have to go overboard to avoid the no-burn. I'm not asking for mutton chops here.  Damon has chosen to rock only a half inch of burn, but even this small amount of burn is enough to rescue him from the look of no burn.  Please guys make wise burn choices!

Things I ate:

9:00 am: everything bagel with jalepeno cream cheese

2:00 pm: big ass thanksgiving at julia’s house turkey mashed potatoes stuffing and much much more

9:00 pm: angel food cake and vanilla ice cream

 

Things I hate: Unrated DVD editions

      The unrated editions of DVD releases are purely marketing gimmicks and never deliver on the scintillation that the “unrated label” suggests.  This label essentially promises more nudity.  Nudity so crazy that the dvd isn’t eve R but Unrated!!!  What they deliver is usually the same crappy flick with a couple of extra and completely worthless scenes.  What you realize after watching the unrated version of a film is that those scenes were left out for a reason.  If you’re going to put out an unrated copy of The Breakup then the extra material that gave it the “unrated status” had better be an extra scene where Jennifer Aniston performs fellatio on Vince Vaughn.

      So here’s an idea, if you’re going to put out an unrated edition of a movie, film it like that is your intention.  For example you’re making a movie… lets say… “The Bourne Douchbaggery”.  Go ahead and film a 45 minute hard core porn scene that won’t be in the original movie.  Drop that scene into the unrated edition.  This can work for TV as well since many of us watch TV shows online and on DVD.  Just film some scenes with nudity and a couple of blurted out “fucks” and market it as the R rated version.  You could film the same scene from Lost where Kate takes her top off but in the DVD she would be facing the camera.  Or, you could have a scene where Mathew Fox removes Sawyers appendix with his dong hanging out.  All I’m saying is make the DVD release like the HBO version of the show.  I’m totally off topic.  Anyway Unrated versions of DVDs are not the raunchy versions of the film that they promise.  They are just the same shitty movie with a couple shitty scenes that didn't make the first cut and that is bullshit! 

Hefner and Gyro

|--what happened in here?--|

What I ate:

10: 30 cheese and salsa omelet

12:00pm:  bowl of “everything but the” ice cream

1:23 pm: Tyson boneless chicken strips with ranch

4:00 pm: half of a leftover gyro

9:00 pm: chicken noodle soup

Things I hate: old ass Hue Hefner

What ever happened to going out with dignity?  Hef used to stand as a symbol of the idyllic bachelor lifestyle.  Now he is just a sad old man who is being made a cuckold by the likes of Chris “mindfreak” Angel… Chris Angel!!!!???? Seriously? WTF!!!

There was a time where Hef proved that being a bachelor could be fun, stylish, and full of pussy.  Now he just stands as proof that a happy bachelor will end up sad, old, alone, and desperate for youth.  You ruined bachelorhood for all of us.  Is that what a “permanent single” has to look forward to, being a decrepit, lonely husk of a man?  A man, so desperate for youth and attention, that he dates a stream of increasingly horrible and vapid women who care only for his money and status.  So thanks a lot Hef.  Thanks for showing us the truth: that there is a sad and lonely ending to even the most successful bachelor lifestyle.  Take your millions and die with dignity NOT on Reality TV!!!!

Things I ate:

8:00 am: scrambled eggs with salsa

12:15 pm: pork chop with tomatoes and feta (pictured)

7:30 pm: roasted chicken and a shit ton of cheese its

Things I hate: Website passwords

Why does every website now require a username and password?  I understand my email, banking, and facebook needing that info.  What I don’t understand is why every time I want to watch a video on youtube/hulu, check news on IMDB I have to put in a password.  What inevitable happens is I get frustrated and make up some dumbshit user name in order to quickly get through the registration.  This is why I am now Poopmonster2 on Hulu (regular poopmonster was taken) So now between blogs, networks, email accounts, second life, online gambling, and research engines I have about 20 usernames and passwords. For reasons of security and because password requirements are different they are all different. I don't write down a master list, I just trust my Mac to remember them, but about once a month my Mac forgets and I have to reset with another ridiculous entry.